The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Why do people try to related things to a song when what they tell you are lies. I got a laugh out of this call me strange.



"White Flag"



I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,

Or tell you that.

But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it

where's the sense in that?



I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were



I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be



I know I left too much mess and

destruction to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of "it's over"

then I'm sure that that makes sense



I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be



And when we meet

Which I'm sure we will

All that was there

Will be there still

I'll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I've moved on....



I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

Thinking back on things maybe I was wrong, maybe I should have listen instead of just blind faith. The pain that was caused I did not see for I did not do it. If things were different then I know life would have changed but I am not a miracle worker, only human. Damn to this world for it always has nothing inside just the emptiness that follows.



"10 years have got behind you, you just missed the starting gun" --Pink Floyd--

Yesterday in the forums a post was made for 9/11. I may have been a bit harsh on one of the users about a post she made but it took me 6 months before I could return into NYC and another year for me to get it out of my head. If I seem angry it was because of what I saw and did. 4 hours triaging people on the queens side of the brooklyn bridge and 12 at ground zero.



Will I ever get over this day, in time yes but damn will I give any pity to those bastard who brought the towers down and killed so many people and friends.

People will always remember this day, where they were, who was around them and the feeling of helplessness. I remember this day to well and will never forget.



I was sitting in my office on line chatting with people in #vampires on the undernet when I heard about the first plain hitting. At first it came over as a small plane that hit the WTC but as reports came in it wasn't. MY phone rang and my rescue unit was activated and so I dashed out to get my gear and report to quarters.



I was the first to arrive in quarters and began to watch the tower burn. Soon other began to show up and as the door was opening to get the rigs ready I screamed from the TV room “The other was hit, the other fucking tower was hit with another plain." Everybody rushed in and could not believed there eyes. We loaded our rig and began to rush down to the site, I was driving and new I could be thee in less than 30 minutes. Half way there we recalled and ordered to return to base. I sat there and though I am almost there I can be thee and disobey…..But to lead you must follow and so turned around to return to base.



As I pulled up I jumped out of the driver’s side screaming why I was ordered to return I was so close. I was told we had more people that could be put into the ambulance to help with the rescuing of people and giving medical aid to them. I walked back into the TV room to wait until I was cleared to go, I looked at the TV and saw the towers fall my mouth wide open my face in shock as I saw the towers fall. I realized that if I was not recalled back to my quarters I could have well been under that ruble.



We then where dispatched to Tilary Street near the Brooklyn bridge where the exodus of thousands of people from the city poured out. Triaging anyone who needed it and at the same time people that I new who where city cops and fireman running though my mind wondering if they where dead. We loaded 5-8 p[people into our ambulance rushing them to the closes hospital treating for burns, smoke inhalation and assorted shock. Four hours I and my crew worked helping anyone who needed it. We where then given the order to proceed down to ground zero crossing over the bridge and coming down Broadway until we where a block from the towers. As I opened my door I looked down the street and saw a blood drenched sun through the smoke in the sky while fire engines putting out fires of building that where struck by the falling debris.



We then began to walk closer to the site hearing the screams of people, seeing parts of the plains in the street at our feet. I looked at an abandon police van with the roof of the van ripped open with a body that fell through it mangled within what was left of the bench seats inside the van. We had to take cover and so went into the closes building which was a church. As we grew closer to the alter a sheet was covering a body and men standing around crying for the death of the comrade. I and my partner decided to walk outside and get closer to the site and began to work the pile trying to find survivors. Body part could be seen through the ruble as we searched for anything that could be breathing but in the distance you heard rumbling and then a crowd of people running away could be seen, the third building began to collapse.



12 hours I was down there, 12 hours of a city that looked like a war zone, 12 hours wondering if we ourselves would survive.







I saw the horror of ground zero up close and personal. I saw the bodies, the buildings, and the debris all around my city. I saw a blood red sun through the smoke and streams of water flowed from the engines trying to put out the fires. I saw a giant pile in the center of where these two towers stood. I smelled the dust, the death, and the sweat of all the people trying to save the lives of so many.



Do you think I will ever forget that?

You know what blows my mind? I come here periodically to the site to see who is on and to read through some of the stuff but I can't understand how these people are always on all the time. Don't they have lives?



This race to achieve higher status is compelling but there must be more to life then trying to get higher in status.

You know when you start to think about your birthday and realize it’s another day you getting old. Another year goes by and you can't wait until the day is over and people will stop asking how old you are. They use to mean something to me but I guess the magic has faded away.

I have gone back and forth to some peoples portfolios. One reason is to see what you look like and others to see who you are.



Now it may seem that these two descriptions are the same but they are not. To see what you look like is self explanatory.



But to see who you are is to get to know what type of person you are. Now seductive pictures are great don't get me wrong but twelve pages of it is another story. When you have 10-15 photos of friends, places, and yourself I can understand. But 30-40 pictures mostly of yourself in all these type of poses and outfits....well do not get upset if every male on the site comes barking at your door. Besides the fact that people post it and say come see my new pictures….Please.



Beauty is one thing but vanity is another.

The family is getting together on this Sunday to celebrate all of our birthdays. They decided and what I mean by they are my sisters decided to have this today, of course I was never consulted but who am I but the brother. I am use to it just for the reason that they always have to remind me of these things like this. I have a good memory but dates and birthdays and the celebration of these days I am a bit foggy on. So I get a days notice and scramble from there.



I also started to get my wine gear ready to make wine. The season is here and I make soooo much. 60-80 gallons of home made wine is a small task but I do enjoy it. I do drink about 20-30 gallons of it during the year and the rest is for whom ever wants some.



The power of the grape!!!